Life is just becoming more and more complicated by the day. and with the ‘new normal’ imposed on all of us by COVID-19, we are faced with more hopeless situations than ever. The struggle to find happiness, purpose, and the meaning of life is real. If you have never known it, definitely you know someone who has. And when you reach rock bottom, suicide is never the answer.
There is always a way out.
When I was in the 6th grade, I had the privilege of befriending a girl I’ll call Nisomo (Not her real name). She was extremely full-bodied for her age, rounded full hips and a big bottom, quite tall and well, pretty in a huge sort of way. She was slow and sluggish too.
Nisomo was in the seventh grade when I was in 5th grade, due to poor performance, she joined our class in sixth grade whilst her peers moved up to 8th grade.
Well, she was mostly alone and my classmates could tease and bully her for repeating grades and for her body size among several other things. I remember the day that the notorious group of our class grabbed hold of her and dragged her to the restroom. She cried and begged to be let go, but to no avail. The issue was that they believed she faked her bum and hips… Something of that sort.
When the girls left restroom amid giggles and chatter of satisfaction, I walked in to find her pulling up her pants slowly with sobs and tears of humiliation. I stood there not knowing how to help her as she dressed up while crying. She washed her face and went home leaving her bag in class. I took her bag home and that’s how our friendship began.
I’d sit and eat with her. We never talked much, but she was evidently grateful for my friendship such that she could visit me home during the holidays. Honestly, her visits were always awkward because we didn’t have much to talk about. I wasn’t really an insightful or clever kid. Naive in my own way nestling my own issues, I never asked about her family or life. I really wish I did.
I never asked her why she was always sad. Or where she lived. I never visited her home. (wish I had). I don’t think I was a very good friend to her really.
When we opened schools the next term, we got the news that Nisomo had committed suicide. Word went around that she had been a victim of domestic sexual abuse and other forms of abuse.
I had the chance to be Nisomo’s pillar, but I was too naive and self-absorbed to be of real help.
I have lost a brother too to suicide. He wasn’t a happy soul either. I was about twenty-four when he died, I was pretty old enough to see how he felt about the world. How he had his fair share of misfortune and unhappiness.
Perhaps you have lost someone to suicide or have contemplated it at some point. What I can say to you right now is suicide is never the answer.
It is a selfish and cowardly way out of your issues. And I know that you are neither selfish nor a coward.
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE
Most often as human beings we tend to give up a second before the break of dawn.
Someone wise said the darkest hour comes just before dawn. To translate that in layman’s language; your problems may seem unbearable just when you are about to find redemption.
DON’T DO IT!
Honestly, life is a frustrating maze for most of us. Just a few months ago in my country, a good looking young man from a very wealthy family jumped out of the window at his mother’s workplace. Probably you have heard of rich good looking people taking their own lives. This shows you that we all have issues be it rich, poor, good, or bad looking; we all have issues.
Obviously, you have heard of people saying, don’t judge a book by its cover. Yes, don’t judge people’s lives by the smiles on their faces. Or by the status on their social media platforms. If you could get inside their heads, hearts, or lives, you would be happy to be you and not them.
Usually, all you need is a different perspective, a little positivity, perseverance, and patience.
If you are a victim of abuse like Nisomo was, giving up your life is like giving your abuser the ultimate and final authority over your life. Surviving and finding peace and happiness will hurt them more than if you die. If you are able to get away, do get away in haste.
In one of my articles, I pointed out how if the devil knows that you are destined for greatness, he will stop at nothing to destroy you. He will even use your own mind and perceptions to destroy you. Don’t give him that chance and satisfaction. And no hardship will come your way that has no point of escape. You may get scars on your way out but great is the satisfaction of victory.
Some situations are ‘hopeless’, but only because you think so. Usually, it’s all in the head. John Piper in the battle for the mind said, what gets your mind gets you. Don’t allow your mind to be corrupted by negativity.
What do I know right? Well, I’ve been there. And the very week that I had been overcome by hopelessness and thought I’m better off deceased, was the week that I found answers to my supposedly ‘hopeless’ situation. You can get a glimpse of my story here.
And looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me. I totally see no reason to have ever thought of giving up. In fact, all I see around me right now is beauty. Of course, society is still cruel to some extent, but I think the beauty around me is enough to get me past cruel society with a smile.
I found help in the articles I read especially Battle for the mind, you can find it on google. I also found strength in my partner.
Don’t do this alone. Find help. Speak to someone that can understand. Not everyone can help you, and sometimes, everyone around you may seem to be against you, or out of your realm. They may not even understand you. In fact, they will judge and scorn you. But there’s someone who always has your back no matter what. Pray.
I am willing to help too. You can make use of my literature for free by visiting my resource library. You might find something that will help you there. Simply enter your email address below to get the password.
You could also reach out to me directly. If you are struggling to find happiness, check out how to find happiness in six steps. You don’t have to feel alone.