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Love and wholeness are closely knitted, and so I thought to share 13 habits of happy couples. Love is magical, possessing the power to heal and elevate one’s self-esteem and self-worth. While it’s easy and downright fun to fall in love; it’s downright hard and a lot of work to stay in love.
These 13 habits of happy couples apply most especially to those that are living together in a formal arrangement such as marriage. Why so? Because this is when love can get from fun to downright painful. But that should not be the case. What sucks the juice out of a marriage is when the couple starts to grow apart instead of growing closer. So I am writing this article with a married couple in mind.
13 habits of happy couples
Let’s get into the 13 habits of happy couples right away.
Start your day with prayer and end your day with one. While it’s important for you to have your own individual time in prayer, it is also important to pray together as a couple. The bible says whenever two or three are gathered in my name there I am in their midst. it also says whatever is agreed upon on earth is also agreed upon in heaven. Make a habit of praying often and reading the bible as a couple and family.
Greet each other first thing in the morning
Whether a long-distance relationship or not, make it customary that you greet each other first thing in the morning. In case of distance relationships, call or text the moment you get up.
Hug each other in the morning
I learned this from my husband, he sang about it for a few years after we got married, now it’s an enjoyable routine that I’ve gotten addicted to. The power of touch should not be underestimated. Engage in affectionate physical contact before you leave your bedroom. Even if it’s as brief as a mere hug. If your spouse likes to sleep in, a brief hug right in the bed will do before you step out. A meaningful affectionate non-sexual hug is the most effective.
Kiss before you leave home
Now some couples don’t enjoy deep kisses for some reason. That’s ok, any kind of kiss can do the trick so long it is mutually appreciated. A peck on the cheek, on the forehead, on the palm, etc. And don’t always wait for your partner to initiate the affection while you’re always on the receiving end. Reciprocate, we all love to be pampered regardless of gender.
Cheating is just filthy no matter the rationale. Your spouse may forgive you, but trust me, they will never forget. It may haunt them every time they try to get intimate with you. And don’t be fooled, a relationship is NEVER EVER the same after one partner cheats. Something in your partner dies when you cheat whether they show it or not. And nothing you do can revive it even if you had to buy them the whole airport. Just don’t cheat.
Don’t entertain any ill-thoughts about your partner
The funny thing about the mind is it stores your thoughts and with time those thoughts will become words. I would have said avoid speaking in anger, but I’d rather advise you not to even think anything ill about your partner. No matter how angry you are, if you have never thought of your partner as stupid, the word will never escape your mouth. Have you noticed how some people profane or cuss when they are angry? It’s not in the heat of the moment, no. That is exactly what is in their minds most of the time. And no one should insult you then say, I didn’t mean it, I was merely upset.
Not true, 100% lies. Out of the ubundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. They meant it, they think it often. They are only sorry because they spoke it out loud and now you know.
Don’t entertain bad or ill thoughts over your partner.
Celebrate your partner’s strengths
You may have some things in common, but certain things may be parallels. for instance, Keith is super slow in decision making, Pauline is super fast and intuitive. She may feel like Keith is slowing down their lives and he may feel she is spiraling their lives down a raging waterfall.
Both qualities are strengths. Pauline has the capability of moving the world, Keith has the serenity required to calm a raging storm. We can’t ride life on a roller costar, neither can we move life on a snail’s back. We need a balance and that is Keith and Pauline working together. No strength is more superior, everyone has an equal part to play.
This illustration applies to every different ability that partners may have.
Makeup before going to bed
I’ll be honest with you, it took me about two years to master this good habit. Make efforts to make up before you sleep no matter how big the argument is… unless otherwise. This way, you will always wake up with a smile and a fresh mind to face the challenges that every day comes with. Unlike piling up frustrations.
Fighting is a normal part of life, the secret lies in your conflict resolution techniques. Believe it or not, my husband and I have at least one fight per day. However, it is usually resolved shortly after it started. This point guides us to the one that follows.
Avoid holding grudges
When something that irritates or annoys you happen, speak about it there and then provided you’re not in public. Don’t wait for tomorrow, because while you are preserving the argument for a later stage, your mind will blow everything out of proportion. You will keep thinking of all the reasons why you should be extremely upset, you may even start digging unnecessary dirt from the past. By the time you are tabling the issue, you are likely to overreact.
Overreacting causes unnecessary drama and may create a toxic environment for your partner especially if you are in a frequent habit of overreacting. Don’t be angry with your partner for a very long time. This creates a weak spot in the sense that you may find happiness and peace with another person during that period. And yet you just blew things out of proportion and can’t just let go of your anger.
Learn to apologise
In the past men were the ones that found it hard to admit they are wrong. Now women are doing it too. This mentality destroys relationships. Perhaps you are the kind that prefers showing than saying you are sorry. It may do the job but your partner also needs to hear these words. Don’t let your pride push your partner away, it’s not worth it.
Work on your conflict resolution techniques
No sulking, please! No silent treatment, no tit-for-tat, no grudges, no digging up dirt, just work it out. Find a way around each other. Everyone has a soft spot, a breaking point, a point of reason. If you love your partner enough, find their soft spot, and work with them.
Honestly, sometimes there are instances where my husband and I happily and mutually agree to disagree. With no hard feelings to maintain peace and harmony. Of cause not on crucial issues, especially issues that won’t really affect the family negatively.
Avoid having your way all the time.
Catch up with each other
Get in the habit of telling your partner how your day was when you get home. Assuming that your partner is your friend, this is not so hard to do. It will help you connect at a deeper level of friendship.
Give more than you take
Go the extra mile to reciprocate the love and affection that your partner gives you. Don’t always be on the receiving end. Everyone wants to be loved and cherished regardless of gender. Always treat your partner the way you would want to be treated.
Hope you found these tips useful. Adopting these 13 habits of happy couples may just save your relationship. I think you might enjoy the articles How to make your woman happy and How to make your man happy. Also, check this article if you are constantly in a puzzle as to what your partner really wants from you. Especially if you feel you have given them all they need for happiness and yet they are just not happy.
Thanks for reading, your feedback is much appreciated.