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With the rise of the pandemic(Coronavirus), most people are forced to work from home, get homeschooled, and in extreme situations are either quarantined or isolated. While we can adjust to the new normal, nothing is more tormenting than being stuck in a toxic situation or home environment. This article will brace you enough for you to cope in that toxic home environment.
If you are in a relationship and able to escape, I advise you to leave, never look back, and don’t feel guilty about it. Do not feel obligated to cope in a toxic relationship or home environment, especially if it threatens your physical, emotional, or mental safety. If you have the means, leave that toxic place.
If it’s a toxic marriage, your overall safety and that of the inhabitants of the home such as children should determine whether you stay and work it out or leave. It’s proven that children that are raised in a toxic home environment are likely to develop mental health issues in their adult life. So even as you are holding on in that toxic home for the sake of the kids, you are putting them at risk in the long run.
How to cope in a toxic home environment
Do you often feel bad about yourself? Click here to discover tips on how to stop feeling bad about yourself.
If your life is in danger, get out of there if you can and get help as soon as possible. If you have no other choice but to remain where you are, these 14 tips on how to cope in a toxic home environment will definitely be useful to you.
Define your vision
In most cases, you’re probably in that place for a given period of time. Know the reason why you are there and use that place as a bridge to get to where to want to be.
What’s your life vision? The sooner you get one, the easier it will be for you to cope by looking at the bigger picture of your life. Because no matter how hard life gets, if you know where you are going, nothing and nobody can bring you down. This article can give you a head start on how to get about with defining your vision.
If you will treat that environment as a bridge to your future, you might want to be patient as you cross that bridge. Some bridges are long and shaky, some are short and stable. Patience will get you through thinking that it’s just a matter of time, I will leave here eventually.
It’s not the waiting period that matters, it’s how you wait and what you’re doing, while you are waiting that matters.
Do your part
Every environment has rules and regulations. No matter how toxic your environment gets, going against the rules is not justifiable. It might only make you a toxic person. And that won’t do. Do your part and do it well.
But we can’t deny that some rules are harmful to us, if that’s the case, get help.
Get in the head of that toxic person
Unless they are narcissistic or have some underlying issues, they definitely have a soft spot. Find that spot and make use of it to get some peace. I’m not saying you manipulate or bootlick people. No.
A wise person said if you want someone to do what you want, give them what they want. Now, this depends on what they are asking for. However, something sick like sexual favours is a huge no!
Be responsible for your actions
You can’t control how others treat you or feel about you. But you can control how you react and feel about it. Don’t develop a foul attitude and blame it on your environment. I know someone who grew up with a toxic stepdad and he is such a sweet, kind, gentle, patient, loving, and awesome husband and father.
You can decide to be nice even if no one notices or even cares. You are simply grooming yourself for your future which matters more than where you are right now.
Create a mental sieve
So perhaps you are trapped with someone who rants and screams till the cows come home. There’s nothing that hurts more than words. And the bad part about words is that the speaker may totally forget that he said them, but the hearer may never forget them.
The best is if you can’t walk away, create a mental sieve. If they rant garbage, literally create a mental black hole in which those words fall in and die a natural death. Like gone, never to be exhumed, ever!
Let the annoying stuff drop into your mental black hole. But keep sensible advice and act on it for change if need be.
Guard yourself against negativity
Whatever you do, don’t let negativity into your life. It is an evil leech that will literally suck the life out of your veins. Learn what it means to be positive here.
Whatever you chose to become as a result of your experiences, negativity is not an option. If the people around you speak negativity in your life, don’t let it sit in you. Send it down the mental black hole and replace it with a positive affirmation.
Avoid hitting back
Unless otherwise, never hit back especially if you have little advantage in that environment. Let it slide past you. By hitting back I mean don’t scream back or retaliate by deliberately doing things just to get on their nerves or get back at them. Hitting back not only comes in form of physical or verbal cues. Your non-verbal cues also count. Learn how your thoughts are not private here. Remember, two wrongs do not make a right.
Take time to occasionally flip the coin
Once in a while, check yourself. You may find that perhaps you are repeatedly doing something that’s breaching the peace and it’s within your power to avoid or stop.
Now I’m not saying you should blame yourself for a toxic home environment. I’m saying, take time to introspect in a positive way.
Nurture or develop a hobby
I started reading novels at twelve. By thirteen, I was writing poetry and stories. I buried my pain in reading and writing, it kept me sane.
Engage in something safe that will divert your mind and give you something fun to think about and do. Hobbying is one of the most effective ways of coping in a toxic home environment. However, ensure that you don’t indulge in toxic hobbies.
Don’t do anything stupid
Something stupid includes hurting yourself or engaging in risky behaviours such as substance abuse. Preserve your life, your health, and your sanity for the future. Where you are is just a temporal place. Two wrongs can not make a right.
Don’t hold on to the pain
Believe me, I know the pain of growing up in a toxic home. In your case, I have no idea how often the drama presents itself but if it does and leaves you hurting, don’t cradle the pain.
And when you leave that place, leave the garbage there. Walk out on the drama and walk out on the pain. Your guardians have control over you while you are under their roof. If you carry the pain with you wherever you go, they will continue to control your life through your memories. Wash it off and drain it down the home bathtub and walk away clean.
Allow yourself to heal
I had a very close encounter with a young man who was raised in a toxic environment that involved physical, verbal, emotional, and mental abuse. In all honesty, he came out really badly such that he has adopted a toxic personality. Even his personal intimate relationships are a total failure. In a nutshell, he is needy, petty, pessimistic, stubborn, insecure, has low self-esteem and low self-worth with a bad temper, and somewhat self-centred.
Well, yes, his background contributed to all that but he is over twenty-four years of age now. He left that toxic home years ago, and yet he still blames his actions on his toxic guardian.
It happened, it’s past, you can learn new ways of living so that your future is not as messed up as that of the people that raised you.
I hope most of these tips will help you cope in that toxic home environment. Wait a minute; how do you recognise a toxic environment? Click here to find out.