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What has your mind has ultimate control over you and this is why I’m sharing these 11 ways of getting someone out of your head. It’s so hard to nurture positive self-esteem when you know that you have no control over your own mind, even your self-confidence and sense of wholeness is affected negatively. It’s literally impossible to even concentrate on other areas of life and all forms of progress in areas that require your full attention are numbed.
Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by the way other people treat you or react to you. Sometimes it could be just one particular person and you desperately need to be free from his/ her power over your mind. Don’t worry, by the end of this article, you would have had an idea of how to get that someone out of your head using the 11 ways that I’m yet to share with you.
Certain people enjoy tossing a person around in their heads, daydreaming about what was, was not and what could have been, the hidden possibilities and missed opportunities. Like it gives them the energy and drive to carry on. But this is wrong.
Why should you get them out of your head?
Thinking about someone too much is also called obsession and it stunts personal growth and prevents progress in so many things. Imagine having to think about one person all day or ever too often. While it’s normal for this to happen if you’re newly in love or infatuated, it’s a problem if thinking of that person leaves you feeling bad about yourself or fills you with dread.
Obsessing or ruminating over someone is giving them power over your life. It’s most likely that your emotions and actions will revolve around your thoughts.
If you find your mood changing negatively, or you cry whenever you think of someone, you need to get them out of your head.
Why would one cry or sulk at the thought of someone?
- You lost them to death
- You lost them to someone else or you broke up
- You really like that person but there’s no chance of them liking you back; a deep crash with no possibilities
- You love the person so much but they don’t reciprocate.
This does not only apply to people that you might be interested in intimately. Sometimes, it could be a friend or friends that you like so much but he/she keeps treating you like dirt.
11 trusted ways of getting someone out of your head
While you have complete power and control over your mind, it can also have control and power over you if you allow it. What you allow to constantly run through your mind will eventually take over your life. And thinking about one person without progression gives rise to stagnation. Why should you suffer or hurt when that person may be enjoying his/her life with no thought of you what so ever? Get them out of your head already!
You have to take charge with these steps;
Discipline your mind
Don’t allow unwanted random thoughts to flounce around your mind anyhow. And these include thoughts of this unwanted person. Exercise some discipline over your thoughts by regulating what runs through it.
Practice purposeful thinking
Be aware of your thoughts and redirect your mind to thinking positive and purposeful thoughts. And these do not include obsessing over someone. Purposeful also means useful or something that will lead you towards achieving a certain aim. Now how will obsessing over someone enable you to achieve anything?
If a thought is not purposeful or progressive, block it.
Block all forms of idle thinking which include your obsession. All thoughts that will lead you nowhere, that make you cry, or that will make you feel bad about yourself or your situation must be blocked with prejudice.
Block all thoughts of that person like you would block him/her on your phone.
Blocking thoughts is useless if you cannot replace them. Replace all thoughts of that person with pleasant, positive, and constructive thoughts. For instance, start thinking of ways in which you can love yourself better, invest in yourself and develop your life and yourself. Think of how you can become a better person and give back to the community.
Forgive and forget
You need to forgive the person if they had wronged you for your own peace of mind. Forgive and forget even if an apology was not given to you. This is another sure way of getting someone out of your head. If you forgive and forget, you will no longer have imaginary conversations with them in your head or plot and scheme revenge. You will no longer cry or get bitter at the thought of them. And they will no longer have power over your life.
Put an end to the blame game
Sometimes its easier to blame others for our mistakes or for bad happenings. But this also gives the person you’re blaming power over you. You must take responsibility for your actions and wean yourself from that person. Stop thinking that things are as they are because of him/her. Simply move on and make fresh better memories free from your past which includes that person.
Stop stalking if you’re doing this
Stop checking out their social profiles. In fact, block, unfollow and delete the contact. If possible, unfollow their friends too.
Cut all forms of contact
Don’t call or text them, delete their number least you get tempted. Please if someone has shown you that they do not care about you, avoid making a fool of yourself by calling or texting them. Just cut all forms of contacts to necessitate healing and moving on.
Avoid places where they are likely to be found
If you know where they hang out or likely to be, just don’t go there. Follow the out of sight out of mind rule. Protect yourself from the pain of seeing them without your inner needs being satisfied. It’s better you don’t see them at all.
Spend quality time with yourself
This is the time for you to self improve. Go to the gym, get in shape, look good and spend a little money on yourself. Do some introspection and fall in love with who you are. Not in a self-centred way. You can get guidance on how to love yourself better here.
You can start a self-improvement challenge available in the resource library, or a detox regime. Explore some healthy recipes and treat yourself to something awesome. Meet new people and make new friends if possible.
An idle mind is like a garbage truck. All forms of nonsense will be tossed in. Get busy. Startup a new hobby or improve an already existing one. Read books or better yet, start blogging. You can start up your own blog with just a click here. You have a choice to chose a free or paid plan. Also, engage in some voluntary community services.
- Abuse substances such as alcohol or drugs in order to forget or get over someone.
- Blame yourself for a failed relationship. It takes two to tangle.
- Have a self-pity party blaming yourself for losing that person. If they were worth you, they wouldn’t have opted out of your life.
- Jump into another person’s arms in order to forget, get over or make them feel jealous. You are better than that.
- Swear to never get attached again. Give yourself a second, third or tenth chance.
Please don’t do these things listed above.
It’s so hard not to think about someone you had gotten so used to toss around in your head. It’s like they became part of your brain cells, they literally live in you. But it’s possible; all that’s needed is a little work and dedication to yourself and your goals.
Wholeness and unconditional happiness are experienced when all the elements are in harmony. But having one person stuck on your mind disrupts this harmony. Let me know if these 11 ways of getting someone out of your head work out for you. Please do share other tips that you feel or know may work well too.